


Without You

by The_Sickfic_Sideblog



Series: Being Galra [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Gen, Season/Series 02 Spoilers, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-10
Updated: 2017-02-10
Packaged: 2018-09-23 07:22:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9646127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Sickfic_Sideblog/pseuds/The_Sickfic_Sideblog
Summary: Keith comes back from the Blade of Marmora's headquarters a different person.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place during/after Blade of Marmora, if this was what actually happened: rururinchan.tumblr.com/post/156534144992/keith-can-you-please-stop-moving-for-like 
> 
> Absolutely beautiful edit by @rururinchan. Go give them some love.

The Red Paladin was having anxiety, to put it in simple terms. His hands trembled on the Red Lion’s controls, mind going a million miles an hour. The paladin armor prevented him seeing the violet on his skin, but he could still feel large ears poking out of his hair and sharp teeth tearing at his lips.

“Keith, you need to settle down. Red’s flying all over the place.” Shiro said, voice level and composed as usual. Keith didn't understand how he could be so calm.

“I can't tell the others...” he muttered.

“You might not have a choice. You, uh...look a lot different.”

“Allura will kill me. Everyone will, especially Allura.”

Sensors flared on the Red Lion's screen. Keith's shaky hands couldn't keep them on course between the black holes and the collapsing star. Shiro took the controls and booted Keith out of the driver's seat. In this rare circumstance, the lion allowed Shiro to pilot.

“You didn't destroy her planet, Zarkon and his men did. She has no reason to hate you-”

“She has every reason to hate me! I'm Galra, just like them!”

Keith started pacing around the cockpit of his lion, not sure what else to do.

“Didn't one of the Blades say that you can cloak? Or disguise your appearance or something?”

“I've never done that before. All of this is new to me! I don’t know how!”

“Now would be a good time to try, before we get back to the castle.”

The Red Lion’s interface flickered, and a feed of Allura’s voice popped up, “Is everything alright? You guys were wobbling for a bit there.”

“Everything’s fine, Princess. We’ll be back soon,” Shiro hit the mute button, “Keith, I’m not sure what you want to do, but we’ll be back at the castle soon. We obviously have a lot to talk about as a team, but I’m sure that they’ll treat you like Keith, not like a Galra.”

Keith looked in the reflection of his helmet. His eyes had turned completely yellow with no signs of irises or pupils. He peeled back his upper lip, showing off the sharper canines. Violet ears were tilted downward and twitched towards any sound the mechanical lion made. Small tufts of...fur? Hair? Keith wasn’t sure, but they lined the inside edges of the ears, making them look similar to the maine coon breeds on Earth. He never realized how cat-like the Galra were until he was one.

He closed his eyes and took a breath. He wasn’t sure what he was supposed to concentrate on if anything at all. Nervousness constricted his breath. He could picture each way the others would react. Pidge would want to poke and prod at him like an experiment. Hunk would be scared out of his mind and never speak to him again. Coran would pretend he didn’t exist. Allura would throw him off the ship and the Voltron team entirely. And Lance would...

Keith forcefully stopped his train of thought. He didn’t want to think about that. With another breath, he cleared his mind. The world around him faded away as he honed his thoughts on an image of himself as human. There was no telling if that would work or not, but it was certainly a place to start.

There was a small tug in his mind, like a muscle flexing. His skin prickled, threatening to take him out of focus, but he concentrated harder. This was not something he could afford to lose.

“Looks like you’re getting the hang of it,” Shiro said, pulling Keith’s attention away. The muscle in his mind relaxed. He opened his eyes just to see them fade back to yellow and his skin absorb the purple coloring, like ink flooding into water. He turned towards Shiro.

“Did that work? Did I look human?”

“Human enough with your armor on. A bit off, but enough to get you inside the castle and somewhere we can talk this out.”

With the relief, a wave of exhaustion washed over the Red Paladin. His helmet blurred in front of him as if it were underwater. 

“Shiro...I don’t think I can hold the cloak for long...” he muttered, “It made me pretty dizzy...”

The Red Lion’s landing gear engaged as Keith’s vision cleared up. He could see straight, but he suddenly felt as though he missed a full night of sleep. He obviously needed more practice, but if Shiro was right, this would have to do.

“Well, you don’t have to hold it for too long. Just long enough to get inside.”

With Kolivan at their side, the paladins positioned themselves in the lion’s mouth. Shiro solemnly nodded at Keith, which was somehow more encouraging that any words he could’ve said. Keith nodded back and closed his eyes once more. He exhaled, and his skin prickled again.

“I don’t understand why you insist on looking human,” Kolivan said, “We Galras may not be the most loved species, but you are not part of Zarkon’s army.”

“I’m just...not ready. They’re not ready.” Keith answered, and opened his eyes to Shiro’s smile. 

“Just relax. Go straight to your room, I’ll meet you there.”

The Red Lion’s mouth opened, and the three stepped out. The rest of the team was waiting there for them with baited breath.

While Kolivan explained the dire situation Keith kept his eyes on the other paladins. For a while, they were listening intently to the conversation between Kolivan and Allura, not paying him any attention. But the longer he held the disguise, the more his mind strained. There was starting to become two of each paladin. Like a normal muscle, the mental flex started to grow sore and begged to be released. For a millisecond, he let the cloak slip, just so he wouldn’t topple over. In the corner of his eye, he could see the tip of his nose turn purple, and he put up his guard again. His vision corrected, but Pidge’s eyes snapped to him. She tilted her head as she took a closer look at him. Like Shiro said, it wasn’t perfect, and Pidge was always one to detect imperfections.

‘What’s wrong?’ she mouthed, not wanting to interrupt the others. Keith tried his best to look as confused as possible, but the mask clearly wasn’t working. He needed to leave now.

There was a lull in the conversation where Allura stared mistrustingly at Kolivan. Now was his chance. He muttered something about changing out of his armor and started walking, not waiting for anyone to respond.

The walk to the elevator seemed like miles. It took all of Keith’s strength to not sway with every step. His hand clumsily jammed the button, and the doors opened immediately. As the doors began to close with him inside, he could see Pidge peak around the corner, running to catch up with him. The doors closed on her before she could stop them.

Finally, he was alone. He slipped down the wall of the elevator and let go of the cloak. Darkness clawed at the corner of his eyes, threatening to overtake him if he didn’t rest. He closed his eyes for a few seconds before the elevator doors opened again. With no one on the floor where the paladins slept, he stumbled through the halls until he reached his room and locked the door behind him.

_ Pidge is gonna be up here soon... _ Keith thought,  _ I gotta hide this somehow... _

He looked around the room, searching for anything that would be of use. But even if he managed to cover his ears, no clothing or amount makeup would be able to cover his entire body, much less his eyes or his teeth. Panic began to set in again.

_ I just have to keep cloaking until I can find something... _

Still trying to get his balance back, Keith staggered to the bathroom and took a long look in the mirror. Even his hair had a slightly purple tint to it. He wished Shiro was there. His fingers started twitching again, and his mouth became dry. How could anyone accept him like this?

A harsh knock came from the door, startling Keith. He couldn’t help but notice how his ears pricked up. “Keith? Open up, I wanna talk to you.”

It was Pidge. The elevator was faster than he thought. Keith looked at himself in the mirror again and tried to take a deep breath. He could only manage short, shallow ones as if the oxygen was being sucked away from him. “I’ll be there in a second. Don’t come in.”

The purple started to edge away from his nose and fingertips but didn’t go much farther. Keith furrowed his eyebrows and clenched his teeth. His heart pounded faster than during training, and he was certain that the oxygen was depleted from the room.

_ I can’t let them see me like this....I can’t I can’t I can’t- _

There was a flicker of irises in his eyes, but they never fully formed. The violet came back to his nose. His knees weakened from the force of exertion. He couldn’t stop shaking. Tears streamed from his eyes.  _ No no no no no- _

The pounding at the door continued, “Keith, I’ll hack my way in if I have to! Open up!”

It was all too much. The Red Paladin’s knees hit the floor. He gasped for breath in fear that he would suffocate before he would ever have to tell anyone.

_ They’ll find me looking like a Galra, dead on the ground on the floor of my bathroom. They’ll shoot my dead body out into space to freeze before I can explain to them that I’m not one of them. They’ll remember me as Galra and hate me for as long as they remember me and then they’ll forget me and- _

* * *

“Keith.”

Pidge’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts. She was on the floor next to him, holding his still-shaking hands. He looked up at her, and immediately saw his reflection in his glasses. He pulled away and tried to force the cloak, only making his breath shorter and faster.

“G-go away!” he shouted, scrambling back against the wall. His head spun, tilting the room at odd angles as Pidge approached him.

“No, Keith, stop it- it’s okay-”

“Leave me alone, Pidge!”

He started to feel faint. Pidge’s green jacket blurred into the colors of the bathroom. There was nothing he could do. He stopped struggling, slumped against the wall, buried his face in his hands, and began to sob.

When the episode was over - when he could finally breathe and see straight - Keith found himself being held, his nose just barely over Pidge’s shoulder. The area right behind his left ear was being scratched gently. The Green Paladin had pulled him into a hug as best she could, and held him until he calmed down. On instinct, Keith tried to put on the disguise again, but Pidge tapped him.

“Stop that.” she scolded but didn’t dare raise her voice above a low mutter.

“...stop what?”

“Whatever you’re doing with your skin.”

The words stung like a cut on his cheek, “I’m trying to turn it back-”

“No, stop trying to make it look human. It’s making you worse.”

Keith felt himself at a loss for words. He rested his forehead against Pidge’s shoulder, and she continued to scritch behind his ear. It was surprisingly comforting, despite how cliche it was.

“How...did you get in here?” he asked, trying to dodge the subject in any way possible.

“I told you. I hacked my way in,” there was a layer of fear on her voice, “You didn’t respond to me and you were on the ground shaking and crying, so I just...” she tightened her hug a little bit.

“The door’s unlocked....they’re going to see me...” Keith’s voice quivered, tears starting to come back. Pidge pulled away from the hug to look him in the eye.

“Why are you so worried? You worked yourself into a panic attack.”

“I’m....I’m Galra....”

“And Allura’s Altean. And Shiro and Lance and Hunk are Human. It’s alright, Keith.”

He shook his head, “No, we’re fighting the Galra...it’s different.”

“We’re not fighting you,” Pidge’s face fell, “Do you think we’d be that shallow to turn on you like that? After everything?”

Lance’s voice echoed through the hall, “Keith? Pidge? Where did you guys go? What’s going on?” His footsteps ran down the halls, pausing at every doorway to look in. Keith gasped and buried his face in Pidge’s shoulder, trying to become as small as possible. When Lance finally found the right door, he froze at the sight of his fellow paladins on the ground. After scanning the situation, and seeing that Keith was purple, he shot Pidge a confused look. She shot him a look right back, daring him to say anything that wouldn’t be helpful.

The Blue Paladin closed the bathroom door behind him and sat cross-legged next to his friends. He placed his hand on Keith’s back and started slowly rubbing up and down. 

“What happened?” The question was more directed at Pidge than Keith, and she recognized that.

“I think Keith had a panic attack. I’m not sure...” she sighed. Keith tucked in closer to her, feeling double the amount of shame. He almost wished everyone would just go away, but the warm and quiet bodies next to him were the best comfort he’d had for a very long time.

Lance stood up and filled a glass with water from the sink. He offered it to Keith with a gentle smile. Keith pulled away from hiding inside Pidge, and the corner of his mouth tugged up for a second. He accepted the glass and took a much-needed sip. His throat had never been that dry.

“What am I going to do....?” he asked, praying that his friends had some insight. Lance took the glass back and set it delicately on the sink counter.

“Do about what?”

“About me being Galra.”

Lance narrowed his eyebrows, “I don’t think...there’s much to  _ do _ . You just  _ are _ .”

“I don’t want to be this...I don’t want to look like this...”

“I’m not sure we can do much about that, Keith.”

Pidge shook her head, “He was disguising himself somehow. I’m not sure how it worked, but it fooled us when he got off the lion.”

Keith wiped the tears from his cheeks, “It makes me light headed... I can’t hold it for long...”

“I can probably make some kind of device that does it for you. If we can make the Green Lion nearly invisible, it probably wouldn’t be that hard.”

Keith’s ears perked up a small bit, and he looked at Pidge, “You...really think you could do that?”

Pidge nodded, “I think so. It might take a while, but I think I can do it.”

Lance scoffed, “You can totally do it. You’re  _ Pidge _ ,” he put his hand back on Keith’s back, “Until she gets that working, I’ve got your back, okay? No one's gonna lay a finger on you.”

“But....but I’m Galra. A Galra can’t be a part of Voltron...”

Lance gasped, “Are you kidding me? Of course they can! You were able to access all the Galra tech on the Balmera! You were accepted into the Blade of Marmora, you could be a spy on Zarkon’s ship! You probably have some cool weird Galra powers we don’t even know about! Having a Galra on Team Voltron will be awesome!”

Even though Keith found himself smiling, he still had more worries, “What about Princess Allura? She hates Galra.”

“Allura can kiss my ass if she even looks at you the wrong way! You’re a member of Voltron, no one can replace you! Even if we could disband, if she thinks she can kick you off our team, then I’m going with you.”

Pidge smiled, “Me too. You’re still Keith, you’re still the Red Paladin.”

“And we are not Voltron without you.”


End file.
